Week of May 26th
- Where did you get the name you use online or in the scene? What is its meaning?
- When are you most aware of being owned/submissive?
- What seven words would you use to describe yourself?
- When you are near the end of your life, reflecting back over the years you have lived, the choices that you have made.. what would you like to remember?
- Do you enjoy deprivation of certain things you once took for granted?
If it occurs within your dynamic:
- Do you find it to be annoying/frustrating?
- Do you find that it is just one way amongst many to remind you of your status?
[...] her name Jump to Comments From submissive journal prompts Where did you get the name you use online or in the scene? What is its [...]
My slave name is pandora. Master gave me this name when he collared me 3 years ago. Master also happens to be my husband of 22 years. It was the name of the street we lived on many years ago. Shortly thereafter I began a website called “Pandora’s Swingers Connection” and at that time I became known as Pandora. Master says it’s like an alter ego for me and felt that it was an appropriate slave name.
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[...] Submissive Journal Prompts [...]
http://alicedownarabbithole.blogspot.com/2008/05/submissive-journal-prompts.html
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The Making of Nia Tiika
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
A pseudonym is a fictitious name, also known as an alias, used as an alternative to a person’s legal name. The use of aliases as online handles for BDSM-related groups and discussions has become increasingly common. Aliases are typically adopted primarily out of regard for the symbolism of dominance or submission. For example, many Doms and Dommes will use the titles Lady, Mistress, or Sir as part of their alias. Some, in homage to sadism or masochism, will choose names that invoke fear or pain. BDSM names may be carefully guarded and used only with members of one’s own household. Some BDSM folks will use two different alias, one with the general public (or the BDSM community) and one with their Owners, Masters/Mistresses, or Tops.
Pseudonyms are also adopted for other reasons. In some cases, BDSM people choose a new name for political reasons. It is seen as part of the SSC, in particular the consensual aspect that those individuals choose to name themselves. This can also be an outgrowth of the right to freedom of speech.
I elected to use a pseudonym that represents some variation of my name (specifically the first letter of my birth name), as a part of my scene name. In addition, I wanted a name that would simply describe my personality and interests in this lifestyle. In Ki-Swahili, one of the languages spoken in Africa, nia means purpose and tiika means to serve, to submit, or to obey. Being of African descent, I chose to use this language to show that service is universally recognized and that we should all bring our cultural heritage along for the ride.
Initially I found myself attracted to the fictional “Bene Gesserit Sisterhood” created by Frank Herbert in the science fiction series “Dune”. One of the major characters of these novels, the Lady Jessica, first mentions the Bene Gesserit mission statement, that “my only purpose is to serve”. Thus began my search for a name that would embody this simple statement.
I have other names that reflect my journey: my birth name, my baptismal and confirmation names, my oblation name, and nicknames. Coincidentally, each of these names reflects service. My birth names mean “standard or order” and “torch bearer”. My Arabic name translates as “handmaiden of the God Who hears all”.
Many members of certain religious traditions abandon their birth name to assume a new, often unrelated, devotional name, often referring to an admired saint. I elected not to relinquish my birth name; instead I simply use my devotional name when speaking or writing to others in my faith communities. My chosen names for baptism, confirmation, and oblation honor three outstanding servants:
1. Mother Josephine was a former Sudanese slave and nun proclaimed a saint in 2001.
2. Mother Katharine was a nun who served the Native American and African-American communities in the United States and was also proclaimed a saint in 2001.
3. Mother Teresa was world-renown for her work with the sick and poor of India and is being nominated for sainthood, in addition to being awarded the Nobel Peace prize.
Historically in many monarchies, the individual beginning her rule chooses her official name to be used from now on, which may be unlike his birth name till then; sometimes she picks one of her present names, sometimes a completely different one. The choice of an existing name may simply be a matter of tradition or intend to honor a specific ancestor, and/or emphasize the hereditary right of succession, or may actually convey a program or intention. This convention is often use with submissive folks and slaves. For example, many leatherboys are simply the Master XXX’s boy; however; they have given over the right to chose their scene name to their Owner. Since I was unowned (or uncollared) at the time, I picked my own name. My Mistress would also reserve to right to choose a name for me in Her household.
One of the reasons that I took the name nia tiika was to conceal my religion affiliation in order to avoid religious discrimination. Even as liberal as most “kink” folks appear to be, I have encountered disparaging remarks about my affiliation with certain mainstream faith communities. I had also begun my vocation of adult religious education and public health speaking. I choose to use a scene name to avoid confusing my students and workshop participants with my personal and private BDSM lifestyle.
What is important then and now is the message of my life, not the messenger. I rarely give out my birth name to those in the lifestyle. My initial reason for using a scene name was to remain anonymous and protect fellow BDSM friends and associates from being “outted”, as well as any retribution our families might otherwise endure. Since then it has evolved with my commitment to actively seek an online and “in the scene” submissive lifestyle that began back in 2005. “nia tiika” keeps me grounded and mindful of my purpose and my journey. I have a name to describe the space in which I live.
nia
May 27, 2008
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