Sensual Service

by kaylee

‘Slut’ is a phrase that often has different connotations, depending on how we view ourselves, how the term is used, and how we as individuals define what a ’slut’ is. My personal definition is that the term ’slut’ means a woman who embraces her sexuality, and holds little inhibitions in that manner.

I don’t necessary hold the word ’slut’ to be synonymous with ’slave’ or ’submissive’, although a slave or submissive can certainly be a slut. However, to be lustful and uninhibited does not automatically indicate that the person is submissive- far from it! In fact, I’ve known quite a few women who were sluts and very concerned about *their* fulfillment, their needs, and placed those priorities higher than serving someone else’s will or yielding to someone else’s control. They were the ones in control- they pursued sex simply to appease their appetites, and were completely happy doing so. That is why I normally refer to myself as a slave if I have to label myself, which encompasses being a slut amongst other things- the difference being I am one who is motivated primarily to please her owner.

Within my particular relationships, the term ’slut’ is used, usually chosen deliberately by my owner because that word brings something out in me, (along with a few other choice vulgarities that I won’t mention here). It allows me the chance to revel in the knowledge that I am his slut, that I find pleasures in the darkest of lustful hungers, and that I feel most natural and free with my sexuality without the chains that society forces women to wear in order to meet its moral standards. But it’s not the only aspect of my slavery, nor the only word that he selects to bring out a facet of my personality.

Some will share their slut side with a wide variety of people, others will be sluts within a monogamous dynamic. I also do not believe that being a ’slut’ necessarily means being poorly dressed, or ill mannered. Every person will have their own idea of how to express themselves, but in my case, I enjoy being able to dress in a way that is sensual and provocative but not offensive to the eye. Clothes can be selected to flatter and reveal the body, to entice and express one’s sexuality without being three sizes too small. A slut can behave with poise and class in appropriate venues, knowing that her lust and sexuality is simmering under the surface. She may know that any moment, she might be pulled aside into an empty room at a dinner party, and have that ladylike facade stripped away.
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So why do people often resist this word? I honestly believe that a large part is how society defines a slut. A woman who is sexually open, embracing her primal urges, possibly outside of a committed relationship is often whispered about and carries the stigma of the ’slut’ label. This does not often occur with men who are sexually adventurous, but when the term ’slut’ is used towards a female by her peers, it’s usually not intended as an endearment. I know because I was one of those girls who worked very hard to remove the ’slut’ label growing up- and the girls saying it about me meant for the label to be derogatory. For someone who is struggling with everyday angst about growing up, wanting to explore the desires that they know are different than what the media portrays and watching how ’sluts’ are treated by their peers… that experience can cause an aversion to the label. I’m not sure the ‘good girl’ label fit me, I merely became a secret slut and made sure no one found out about my private side.

The first time a man called me a slut, I reacted with the same defensiveness that I felt when girls called me that in high school. Thankfully, he later explained to me that I should not be ashamed of my sexuality, and that certain definitions I had preprogrammed in my head would be challenged as I explored my slavery. Within my slavery, I have been exposed in ways that did not allow me to feel ashamed about my sexual cravings and desires, but rather to embrace them as part of who I am. There is a certain part of me that enjoys knowing how it feels to cast off the prudish expectations that society places on females. The depths I would go to please a man thrill me, and I cannot find shame in it, but merely a deep burn of realization of the kind of woman I am. I don’t hide that side of myself any longer- although I don’t push it in everyone’s faces either. It changes how you walk, how you move, how you present yourself to men you wish to find you attractive- always there as an undertone along with your other qualities.

Nowadays- when people call me slut, I look more at the context. Does this person know me? If they don’t… well, they could pretty much call me anything and I know they have no way of knowing the person I am. Are they trying to use it to degrade me or are they simply commenting on my lustful nature? Either way, I’m more inclined to grin and say, “yes, I am” and know that my owner is the one person who has complete and total access to my slut side. I’m not ashamed for being sensual, sexual, uninhibited… that part of me is just as valid as every other part of me. Within my owner’s chains… I am free to revel in exactly who and what I am. And I do love to be his slut.

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